La Guerra "Pampita"

There's nothing quite like a celebrity break-up and slugfest to intrigue the hidden Us Weekly side of yours truly's heart. Even fire-cured as we are by the U.S. celebrity standards set by Charlie Sheen/Denise Richards and Nick Lachay/Jessica Simpson, however, we were shocked--shocked--by the vitriol we've been hearing in the Argentine version, that of the nasty breakdup of Ana Carolina Ardohain Dos Santos (AKA Maxim girl "Pampita") and polo player/businessguy Martín Barrantes (the pair is pictured at left in happier times). A brief history: the two were married in 2003 and separated in 2005; earlier this year, she and Chilean actor Benjamín Vicuña (whose swank new Santiago restaurant, Amorío, I visited in May) had a baby while she was still mid-divorce with Barrantes. Recently she went on Argy TV celeb Mirtha Legrand's show and said that Barrantes was asking for a settlemnt that was, "enormous, impossible to pay." In response, Barrantes went on journalist Daniel Tognetti's TV show Blog and engaged in soul-baring and honesty that we haven't seen since--well, since all U.S. celebs were required 200 hours of media training and constant companionship of at least four PR mavens. We'll let his words speak for themselves:

"You're married with me and you go to the hot restaurant of Chile with that country's most famous actor. And you say that it doesn't matter. When I asked her, she said, 'That's the press.'...I don't miss her at all. The truth is I don't miss her a damn. I don't want to see her from 800 kilometers away. If she could go to Russia instead of Chile, that would be better. She made an exhibition of infidelity, an ostentation, it didn't matter to her at all. She didn't care for me a bit. She threw me to the lions..."

With respoect to his current life, he said that walking on the streets people give him the finger. "The kids yell at me, 'Cuckold!" The laughter fucks with me because it's the truth...This story of the divorce I want to take straight on. I want the people to know the truth. I have my ego on the floor, but fine. This is for honor. Money is one thing but not the main thing. This has hurt my image, and when I do business I have to explain that I'm not what she says..."

I believe they designed the initials TMI--Too Much Information--for situations like this. If I were English I might say, "Get a hold of yourself, man." But not too soon; I have to admit, guiltily, that we're enjoying this.